Monday, January 24, 2005

I popped awake yesterday morning when nikki?s tv alarm went off. This was followed by a rather long series of blurry and surreal - or rather surreal because I was a bit blurry still for most the morn - events that carried me from that moment when Keane (on VH1) beckoned me finally from my snooze-button coma about 400 miles through snow and sunrise and billboard after billboard for Big Daddy?s fireworks and firearms outlets to finally emerge back in atlanta just in time for work. Oh, the south. How you will always be home to me.

When Casey and I visited our nikki g in the bright light city of Nashville almost exactly two months ago, we had a drunk-dialing filled good time. My trip up this time was no exception to what is clearly becoming a rule.

Nikki emailed me right around christmas to ask if I wanted to go to this benefit concert modest mouse was performing at vanderbilt. My response, as she reminded me this weekend, was about 20 YES?s. So Friday morning I threw a travel bag together, grabbed my cd player, kissed my Ruski goodbye, and hit I75 to travel those aforementioned 400 odd miles. (Get it ? it has a double meaning! I am soooo clever!)

Since I never so much as attempted my homework assignment that g gave us ? to blog about our weekend ? I will briefly provide a few highlights of our November trip before I write a more extensive homage to this one.

1. Who knew porn and mudskippers go together so well? Well, ?so well? is not exactly accurate, but apparently you can find them together in the magical world of cyberspace courtesy of our friends in Japan. Wow! That was fucking disgusting!
2. Who knew that U2 and Whitney Houston make a great club mash-up? NO ONE! Just hearing it made me feel like I needed a shower. I am sorry, but even gay house music has boundaries that should not be crossed.
3. There?s nothing quite as entertaining as drunk dialing your favorite people from the parking lot of a gay bar ? IN NASHVILLE.
4. That Fido place makes awesome coffee.
5. Passing Jer and Amy around while shoving donuts in our hung over faces.
6. Casey at a college football game! He seemed intrigued by their shoes particularly. Enough said.
7. The satisfaction in knowing that you just left that bar full of flies with a juke box that is about to play ?Barracuda? seven times in a row!

And now, for your review, an outline of Nashville party weekend part 2.

I. Friday, January 21, 2005
A. I (HEART W/ LINE THRU) MAPQUEST - Easily finding my way to nikki?s place - to which she provided directions ? but then getting completely lost on my way to the movie theatre I was going to pass time in until she got done with work ? directions provided by mapquest via moviefone. Then remembering, mapquest sucks.
B. FATE INTERVENES #1 ? g calls and says (not verbatim), ?I have this weird break in my day. Want to have lunch?? Thus, had I found my way to said cinema, I would have missed out on a pretty damn good Indian buffet lunch with one of my favorite people ever and a trip to various vintage stores where a surprisingly large assortment hair metal tshirts gave us a case of insuppressible girly giggles.
C. VHI - coma while nik runs back to work. Man, I LOVE THE 90?s!!!!!!
D. THE MOUSE - Did I mention this concert we were going to? This Modest Mouse thing? The one where we were sitting ON THE 13TH ROW??????? The one that so much better than I could have imagined? That could have only been improved by a longer encore and the inclusion of ?Dramamine? in its entirety on the set list (they only played the first few measures, then went into something quite different). Plus the guy on ecstasy almost made up for both of these.
E. VINDICTIVE LIL BITCH I AM ? At the show these two children in lingerie ? no exaggerations here kids, they were literally no more than 16 ? got the lil boys in front of us to let them push their way in with them (This was a reserved seat show). They really wanted to make sure they were 1) holding the attention of the adult males that were with us ad behind us and 2) inciting the fury of nik and me. Thus, the fact that that they were constantly looking over their shoulder, masquerading it as a dance move, to check on their progress. They were unsuccessful on both counts, as we really didn?t care. It was annoying, but I was there to see a band. And it was kind of funny. Especially when the dumb one with the huge camera dropped it and couldn?t find it, drawing the security guy?s attention, who with the proper use of eye contact I managed to let on to her. When she did find it and went to take a photo, she got a flashlight in the face. So sad. I guess sometimes even the rules apply to teenage sluts.
F. LABWORK #1 ? Nik had to go in at 1am. I decided to join her. I?d never seen a neuroscience lab. It felt kind of like career day.

II. Saturday, January 22, 2005
A. FRIST ? At first, I thought the Manuel exhibit would be amusing if nothing else ( It was fascinating. I was seriously contemplating how to get Joe Perry?s morning jacket outta there, but gave up the dream. Then g and I went to the kids section and made Manuel-inspired prints for one another. I got an homage to my trip complete with a ?no cameras? image and the RATT logo. On nik?s I dislayed my talent to write backward in script. Oooo. Ahhhh.
B. WHITE STUFF ? We emerged from the Frist to find it was no longer sleeting. That shit was snow! Nothing better to combat that than Shephard?s pie! Yum.
C. LABWORK #2 ?Nikki and her timepoints. Geez?. Just kidding! I got a tour of the building and fell out of a chair! More amusing than it sounds I imagine. But I particularly enjoyed putting my head on the vortexer.
D. OH OPRYLAND! ? Stories of a hotel with a RIVER RUNNING THROUGH IT peeked my interest a little. There are now some great photos of nikki and I bundled up in coats and scarves in front of WATERFALLS!!!! Un-fucking-believable!
E. DIVE BAR or STUPID BOY TRICKS ? We passed on the trip to Play. Maybe Case?s absence dampened the idea of spending our evening in a gay bar. Especially one capable of monstrosities such as U2/Whitney ? oh, don?t make me say it! So we got tipsy/drunk-dialed/watched the snow clouds bottom out on Nashville at the dive bar behind her place. Too much fun. Some dumb boys undeserving of our time tried to pick us up. We let them amuse us with their company briefly and then left them out in the cold literally as we closed down the place and then headed back so I could get my two hours of sleep before beginning my trek back and nik could head back to the lab.

I pledge that I have neither given nor received any unauthorized aid on this assigment.

Ok. That was really long, but now you know why I haven?t posted in forever. It takes me forever.

Other news: The Russian (who says I can?t really call him that because he swears he isn?t technically Russian, but I do anyway) and I are very much the happy couple. Too many details may screw everything up, but suffice it to say I fully intend on marrying the boy. Man, I mean. My mother insists I not refer to him as a ?boy,? as according to her, he?s the first person I have dated who is definitely not one. We spent New Year?s together in Florida and the sex is so good, even I can?t justify it with words.

And if I can?t justify good nookie with words?..

Tuesday, January 11, 2005