Monday, December 01, 2003

for mr. portwood's (and all else) amusement-

vegas, baby! it was better than i ever could have imagined. where to begin????
with how much i adore chloe? with all of the gambling i did not do? with the placebo show that was so fucking amazing words cannot do it justice? or with the fact that i fell madly in love...?

that's right, kids. the ban is lifted. but we'll get there.

i spent four excruciatingly painful hours (i had to pee sooooo bad, but it felt like the seat belt sign NEVER went off) in a window seat that overlooked a jet black nothing sky and the left wing of the plane. needless to say, i barely looked up from my book the whole time. Invisible Monsters - that's some twisted stuff, people. but a very clean ladies' room and my oldest friend were both waiting to welcome me to vegas.

slot machines in the k-mart people. that's all i have to say.

on the ride to lexie's from the airport, i was taken aback by the sheer size of things. i knew vegas was sin city, over-the-top, blah blah blah, but i don't know that i have ever seen anything as mammoth as the MGM grand. it just seemed absurd. but don't we all love big, shiny things?

i think it kind of disturbed me that the billboards are still up for siegfried and roy and that the new york new york hotel still has a wtc tower as part of the motif, but i guess those things are not easy to just erase, huh?

i was completely overwhelmed by all of the possibilities plastered on billboards... four cirques, penn & teller, the blue men. i couldn't begin to tell alexis the things i wanted to do. my brain was in sensory overload. and i will tell you all, and hopefully not disappoint you when i say, i did not do very much of any of it. no cirque - no gambling really - no show girls. but it was still one of the best vacations ever.

my "niece" chloe is more beautiful than i could have imagined. most babies, let's be honest, are ugly. chloe is nothing of the sort. she has the biggest blue eyes and is the happiest 6-week-old i have ever met. in five days, i heard her cry once? maybe once? and she seemed to like me. she is blessed with wonderful parents - lexie's boy is awesome. so perfect for her i couldn't have picked him better myself.

i didn't get to see chlo until friday afternoon. but thursday night after i got settled in, lexie and i caught up for a little bit. we're still the same and that's all i could have asked for. it's nice to finally see her so happy.

friday night the three of us were gonna go out, but we detoured to visit a friend's place (friend of theirs). there we consumed a few too many things to go any further and thus, the club never happened. but that was ok. i settled in fairly comfortably with their friends. especially one boy in particular.

nick and i hadn't been properly introduced, so he took care of that. while all but we were in the "smoker's lounge" (out on the patio), he and i started talking about his drumming and my theatre-ing and about his auditioning for the blue men and his friends working on that show and about my wanting to see that show and then about his getting me tickets if i wanted them and then saying he'd even "take ya down there if you don't have anyone to go with you" and then i got his phone number. i don't know who was more excited, me or lexie. or todd for that matter.

after much coercion (is that the right word) from lexis, i finally got up the nerve to call him the next day. i wasn't there for long, so i had to act fast if i wanted to see him - i mean, the show - ok, both - and i told him that - kind of - in the hurried message i left on his answering machine.

lex and chlo and i then had a girl's night. pizza, a movie, and a facial. nick called back about midnight and said he'd love to go on sunday and he'd give me a call and let me know for sure the following afternoon. and he did. and we were set.

brunch with the allensworths (lexie's soon to be new name) on sunday morning prior to and some fruitless christmas tree shopping. i bought a camera and then never used it. how pathetic is that? a disposable, but nevertheless. i don't know what my haughty ass is thinking with my whole "i am too busy living it to take pictures" bull. i suck like that.

the aesthetician did my make-up (that's alexis, for those confused) and made a knockout out of me if i do say so myself and my date arrived about 6 that night. we drove to the strip with time to spare and spent a few minutes in the car getting to know each other (get your minds out of the gutter, we aren't there yet) a little better over a small bowl of amsterdam's finest. too bad most of it wore off before the show, but it sure made my first venture into an actual vegas casino/hotel um - interesting? something stronger than that, but i am not sure of the word for it. let's say amusing. that's slightly more accurate a term.

as a thank you i started plowing the boy with drinks (exaggeration - i think i may have bought him two or three). the show was truly incredible. sounds silly, but visually it is pretty stunning and the music - the music is just awesome. in particular, white rabbit played on pvc pipes... ingenious. and i have never laughed so hard. both highly comedic and wildly bizarre... if only i the weed hadn't worn off.

at some point, some really amazing something or other happened where these statues on stage were spun and strobed so they appeared to be dancing - sounds silly, but it was really quite spectacular. i was left with my mouth gaping open and nick leaned over to say "that was pretty awesome, huh?" and grabbed my hand. i felt my whole being go warm and he never let go. i just clutched it harder and we spent the rest of the show like that. like teenagers on their first date - it was about as cute as a train wreck, but i loved every second of it. after the curtain call, he ventured a kiss on the cheek which i happily accepted and we moved hand-in-hand to the bar, where i tried to get him liquored up some more. just kidding.

kind of.

we talked for hours, lost track of time, all that classic mushy first date stuff, made excuses to touch each other... we all know. on our way out of the luxor (the big pyramid hotel with the sphinx where the blue men call home) i stopped him on the breezeway and decided to be brave. i pulled him to me and gave him the kiss i had been wanting to give him since he grabbed my hand the first time. then we went to his house to check on his new kitten. (sure we did).

i'll let everyone imagine what became of us after that. but it was very different this time. i trusted in a way i have never trusted anyone and somehow without realizing it, i just handed my heart over to him. i don't know how i got drunk enough to do that, but i was in love with him before i even got his clothes off. what's happened to me?

what were to be my lost in translation days became more like my before sunrise days. after saying my goodbyes to lexie and todd and the baby, i was left in nicky's hands. we weren't out of one another's sight for the last 36 hours of my stay in nevada. i drug him to a production of Hedwig at the House of Blues. he'd never seen nor as much as heard of it. i am not sure what amused him more - the show or my reaction to it. all i needed was a foam wig.

one of our blue men from the previous night was the star and there was a benefit performance at the HOB. the crowd was kind of loud and obnoxious so it was harder for newbies to follow what was going on, but the songs sounded fantastic. admittedly, he was no mark salyer, but their hedwig was fantastic in his own right and yitzi might as well have been miriam shor's twin. i tried to keep my date filled in on the storyline, but eventually we both gave up and just decided to enjoy the concert. i wish i'd had time to catch it in its actual playhouse staging, but maybe someday...

exhausted, we headed home to nicky's right after to cuddle and watch a movie and eventually to make the sweetest love i have ever made in my life. i apologize - too much info, but it really was the single most beautiful night of my life with any man. and morning. i knew when i woke up i was in trouble for sure.

the day was spent checking me into the hard rock, grabbing nicky's placebo ticket, and then going out to lake meade and the hoover dam with nicky's friend mike - an awesome guy. reminds me of my uncle jimmy when he still had his shit together. the lake was so fascinating, i could've cried. sounds stupid i know, but the view in nevada is unbelievable. flat for miles with the rockies in every direction. it's the only time i took pictures the entire trip. when my mother sees them, she'll be ready to pack her things and go.

i hadn't eaten a real meal in days, so we stopped at a little cafe on the dock for grub and headed home at sunset - which was 4pm!!!!!!!!!!!! amazing.

back at the hard rock, it finally hit us that our time together was dwindling and i refused to allow it to be mentioned any further until the morning came and it was too late to dwell on it. this was only after convincing him i wasn't going to go home to atlanta and forget that he ever existed. then i almost said the "L" word - which he to this moment pretends he didn't hear... which i am grateful for. i will let you guys imagine how we spent the hours leading up to...


plaid mini lip service skirt with black thigh-highs and black pleather stacked knee boots. black sleeveless top with placebo bedazzled across the chest and black thumbholed arm warmers. i have to say - i would have fucked me. sorry to sound so cocky and arrogant, but it's maybe the sexiest i have ever felt in my life. yes - even more so than halloween. in fact, multiply that by about 15. again i say - god bless you dr. atkins for finally giving me an option that works!!!!!!! my baby enjoyed it immensely. he's still talking about it. pictures to come later - promise.

were i to attempt to put the show into words, i would never do it justice. for all who know my love of peter murphy and how i feel about the bauhaus show form 5 years ago - better!
better i say.

small crowd. i knew every lyric. i could see EVERYTHING from where i stood except when brian and stefan jumped off stage. they re-arranged "sleeping with ghosts" so that it was more like "every you, every me" pt 2 than a ballad. closed with "where is my mind?" by the pixies. "english summer rain" was intro-ed with a booty dance by stefan, a tall beautiful gay man with the moves to prove it. no straight boy got those moves. the joint is an excellent venue.

the opening band - "monkeys" (really eagles, but nicky has unofficially named them) of death metal - were just terrible. thank god they let you come and go out of the venue with a handstamp. we made the best of their 45-minute set elsewhere. hee hee.

the night was over entirely too soon. a short souvenir-shopping stint led to our final retreat to our room and the hanging of the do not disturb sign. we spent our last night together repeating our next-to-last, but with more space to work with this time. in the morning we sullenly got dressed and drove two minutes to the airport, where we must have just held each other for twenty minutes. then he was gone to work after one last (of about 15) goodbye kisses. i went in and tried to finish "girlfriend in a coma" until airtran's desk opened. i slept instead.

the flight home was bittersweet. i went out and danced (and rolled) my ass off with my beloved roommate to ease the sting.