when they played "a night like this" i could have left just after that and been content. hell, i got my money's worth before interpol even left the stage. incredible music, good company... and hours of (mental) hipster bingo fun! so many pretty boys... particularly one...
about the time i last saw the cure at lakewood (but not the last time i saw the cure) i was going through an insane boycrazy phase. what is new, right? it was a little different then. i would get these crushes and i would obsess and they would be damn near painful. come to think of it, i had one like that just last year involving a little russian boy, but we're past that now... but anyway... i find myself at this nonsense again.
a girl can tell herself to drop it. to forget it. maybe he's cute, but completely unobtainable. not because of silly self-consciousness or anything like that... just because elements of the past - a past before she had any idea who he was, which isn't completely accurate either - probably that she's gone out with friends of his, or worse just messed around with one. maybe she has friends who have told her for whatever reason it is best to just let it go - friends that truly have her best interest in mind.
and yet she can't get him out of her brain. she exaggerates and says that he shows up in her dreams every night, but not when she retracts and says, "ok, it's just every other night." he seems to be everywhere she is on the weekends... but nevermind that sometimes she knows he's going to be. they've never spoken - she can't even say what his voice sounds like, because anytime she is near him she clams up turns into a debilitatingly shy 14-year-old girl who just found herself on an elevator with orlando bloom or the lead singer of thursday or something.
every now and then - if she's drunk enough and out dancing - she'll try to catch his gaze, but her boldness deteriorates the longer she's exposed to the attention.
i swear to god those eyes burn holes in my soul!
i cannot have him. i don't even think i want him. and yet the desire to just pull him in a dark corner and kiss those lips until they are raw, and to feel handfuls of that long black hair crumpled in my hands, all the while with karen o in the background serenading us... oh, it hurts.
why can't he just love me?
because i am just not cool enough, i guess.
and it isn't supposed to be...
posted by trixievw @ 10:01 AM
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