you will all forgive me as i now freak the fuck out at a little information that was shared with me this weekend by a mutual friend. first - some background.... justin, if you have somehow found this site, i am sorry. you may never speak to me again, and that will be fine.
june of last year i finally ended 3 and a half years of what should have stopped at 2 and a half. lots of reasons, i won't bore you with them now... he took it hard, but i needed the space. i was pretty cold. but i still loved him. and deep down i thought maybe we'd both grow up and find each other again someday...
shortly after, his best friend was dumped. justin promptly started sleeping withthe ex or vice versa or something. it makes me nauseous to think about too much. she and i were friends. she told me they were seeing each other and i was fine with it for a while. but she said she wasn't in love with him. maybe she was telling the truth. maybe she was sugar-coating it for my consumption. who knows. but then he said they were in love and i lost my mind briefly. that was january.
may 1. heidi hears they are pregnant... keeping it... getting married. we'll not be growing up and finding each other after all.
i always heard, i don't believe in marriage. i don't want kids. for almost four years. nine months and he's ready to jump into both with her. guess i wasn't good enough. or maybe better her than me. who knows....
now i really have to go to england.
posted by trixievw @ 12:01 PM
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