things that could cause conflict that are up to occur.... tomorrow i must publicly break the news that i am leaving turner by mid-summer to return to the land of bread and puppets. i am happy about this move, as the corporate world has proven to indeed, not agree with me. however, i feel a bit guilty that i am wasting all of the time and effort that was spent training me, etc. but alas, a girl must learn that she should never sacrifice her own happiness. i have made that very mistake one too many times already in my life.
ok, maybe just that one thing seemed big enough. well, and then there's a big family gathering for easter. this should be interesting... i am unsure (and too lazy to check, honestly) if i have mentioned my cousin britnay before. she's 14? 15? no older than just-turned-15... and ran away from her rehab program back in like october. yep - she's one of those. i love her, but am truly over it at this point. the kid has issues, and they are issues that have not been handled properly because my family is all about the DENIAL.... but i remember when i was 14, 15. i remember that i my conscience was fully intact and no matter how much anger there was inside me and how bad i might want to lash out at one particular person, i was always aware that it might hurt others who didn't deserve it and could use my better judgment. i am rambling. she generally treats people like shit, and i have no more sympathy for her. well, she has returned from her little hiatus from reality, so it'll be interesting to see how that affects the family dynamic. it almost seemed like it was pleasant while she was gone. so bad of me... i think i am just worried about how to react personally. we were once very close, and now i am so angry at her that i am afraid of what i will say... i don't want to hurt anyone else (like her mother) by being awful to her, but i am not going to pretend that i am just happy she is home, either.
poor simon. he gets to meet my family during all this.
mental to-do list: start drinking water like i should again; write in this thing more; plan next vacation; look into a new gym (must tone tummy and thighs); clean apartment; get photo album for scotland pictures; look at prop list for simon's film; decide if i should invite boyfriend on memorial day vacation romp or make it an all-me weekend.... hmmmm
by the way, if anyone wants a gander at the place that has stolen my heart from england:
http://pak02.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=DirectView&shareInfo=esv4e%2b9w77mippuj%2bRtzt%2b3Afp6qsPgzdFK5zfoz70S%2fjFCnkV3ciA%3d%3d&pageName=AlbumViewFromEmails&locale=en_US
http://pak02.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=DirectView&shareInfo=esv4e%2b9w77nvp5WMUI5msbvE5KsszauFodl81PrLLZC%2fjFCnkV3ciA%3d%3d&pageName=AlbumViewFromEmails&locale=en_US
http://pak02.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=DirectView&shareInfo=esv4e%2b9w77l%2bhs%2fjJbFvZPpx7NhGHGiBW3ggwoFONci%2fjFCnkV3ciA%3d%3d&pageName=AlbumViewFromEmails&locale=en_US
http://pak02.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=DirectView&shareInfo=esv4e%2b9w77kPA7rcfKoVGrvE5KsszauFD1UKwlWVZs6%2fjFCnkV3ciA%3d%3d&pageName=AlbumViewFromEmails&locale=en_US
here are a few of them....
posted by trixievw @ 11:59 AM
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