Thursday, October 23, 2003

things i'd like to say to a boy, but know better, so i'll spew them here:
(and then hopefully, this chapter will close forever)

don't do me any favors. and don't you fucking dare try to make me feel like anything that happened between us is solely my fault or that it's anything i need forgiveness for.

drunk or not, i did NOT start it, i simply and happily played along. there's nothing that occurred that we were not equally responsible for.

i am, in fact, doing you the favor by even wanting to give you the benefit of the doubt and attempting to rebuild what little friendship we had established on the overgenerous amount of trust i allowed myself to grant you. and after the COMPLETE FUCKING WHORE you have made me feel like every moment since that i have thought about it, YOU ASS!!!

you must insist that we speak only as friends? you pompous fuck! do you think for one moment any woman in her right mind would want to be with someone who made her feel like that? who ran like a scared little boy like that? maybe a friggin' masochistic psycho... no, you're right. every woman loves a man who completely disregards her feelings altogether. puh-leaze. you've so obviously proven what a great boyfriend you have the potential to be - you fucking GIT!

i wish i didn't miss who you were before all this so much. i wish i could have faith that that guy still exists, but i know better. and i wish you weren't the best kisser in the entire world.


thank you all for listening.

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